Scrubbing Up A FlatLined Heart!
by Sadis-Flare
Summary: Kairi Krauke and Roxas Swire are medical attendings on a quest - for a booty call! Sora and Namine are interns. What will await? SK, RN. Scrubs influenced, but not a crossover whatsoever! Rated 'T' for suggestive-ness further on! x3
1. Brilliant Doctor Equals Screwed

'Ello readers. :3 Good news, this'll be my first none-oneshot fic! Yeyz! Basically, the story is _not_ a crossover (because it'd be really, really unoriginal, moreso than the story may appear now, and I don't see that working out too much anyway..) but it does feature the KH characters in the world of the T.V show 'Scrubs'. However, the 'Scrubs' settings is more the 'bare bone' of the story, which'd give me room to write something fairly original and influenced at the same time. It gets better, I promise, but here's Chapter 1! L:

**Chapter 1 - Brilliant Doctor Equals Screwed!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Kingdom Hearts, Larxene would have been in KH2, Sora + Kairi would have had more intense scenes, and there would be a version of the Twilight Town days playable through Riku + Namine. If I owned Scrubs, the 'Mexican Apple Thief' fantasy would be MUCH more played out, and the last 2 seasons wouldn't suck. Can you tell I don't own either now? XD.**

* * *

Needless to say, if the frantic wails of uproar, giving the end of the phone-line a vicious, bloody beating didn't completely give the game away – Sora Hikari was nervous. Well, that's just a _tad_ of an understatement; **frenzied** seems like the most accurate term. See, Sora was has finally graduated medical school, and was ready to begin as an intern in Pristine Heart Hospital, and who would give a better pep talk than someone who already experienced that? Well.. that explains why a bit-more-than-healthily-worried Sora was talking to his elder sister Rikku, who already worked there.

"B-but what if the IV leaks and drips onto my hair, and makes it…_**flat!**_ It won't look NATURAL anymore, awh, I'm gonna fai-"

"Whoa, Sora, HUSH for god-sake. It was _you_ who was the brainy one, so if I've settled well, then where do honestly think you'll stand?"

"I..guess?"

"Oh, and Sora? Being the hyper-active nervous wreck is _my_ job, k?"

Sora couldn't help but grin at what his sister had just said. Well, mainly because she spoke the truth, but still, it was comforting.

"Look, let me give you a few pointers, 'yah listening?"

"Yup!" Sora perked up to his normal care-free, lax, ray-of-sunshine composure.

"Good. Oh, but first of all, _do not_, and I mean – **do not** listen to any member of staff who uses the phrase 'Naughty Night Nurse Rikku' and says it's my identity when 'the darkness gets me and I've been bad'… and also do not believe rumours that I cut my scrubs bottoms up, so they looked like beach-shorts, because damnit, it was the only set of pants left!" shrieked Rikku, giving much, much more information than what was required to her little brother's ears.

"Uh…sis?"

"FRICK! Um… err… Sora, I gotta go, I'll speak with you at lunch, bye-"

"HEY! You promised to give me advice!" Sora pouted.

_Heh.. thank god he's not whining over the beach shorts or the alter-ego… if I loved our parents for one thing more than anything else in-particular, it'd be for having a son so unbelievably dense – I love it!_ Rikku day-dreamed to herself, celebrating in secret victory.

"Fine, fine, you have your way. Now, since you're starting as an intern, you'll basically be shown the ropes and advised by a 'resident'. Warning, if you get Axel Cox, you are _screwed_. Brilliant doctor-" During this mid-sentence, Sora has smiled, an albeit confused one at why _**Brilliant Doctor Equals Screwed**_ in the mind of Rikku.

"-but also the most critical, cynical, sarcastic force that one could ever experience – and yes, that _does_ include Menopause Yuffie."

Sora shuddered at this, partly for Rikku and her choice of conversation, and partly also reminiscing his other eldest sister going through 'changes'. "Nah, I really doubt it, Rikku, maybe you're just overreacting?"

"…He tried to throw a patients file at another doctor like a chakram in hopes that it paper-cut his neck!"

"..Maybe he just wanted it to reach the patient quicker?"

"He threw one of the labs testing computers out of the hospital window!"

"Maybe he didn't get the chance to study I.C.T?"

"He came to work in a sports jersey once, and mocked others for wearing the correct attire!"

"Maybe he's just trying to promote a healthy life-style for patients?"

"Wow, how optimistic _are_ you, exactly?"

"Maybe I'm just a little deluded!"

"Bingo." Rikku responded dryly.

"Hey! Stop, you're meant to be helping me!" Sora retorted, but it was really more of an 'Ah, touché!' moment than a denial. "Is there anyone _else_ I'll need to watch out for?"

"Um…" Rikku pondered quickly in thought. "Oooh, yes! Larxene Sullivan. Through-and-through sadist, so much of a predator, it makes the most aggressive of dinosaurs succumb. Oh, and has this twisted on-off relationship with Coxy. Proceed with caution around her if you want to remain alive and intact with sanity." Rikku chirped unusually, considering the content of what she was saying. "Apart from that, everything's ho-hum! 'Course, I'm there to help yah out anytime, oh, and the janitor is the coolest person _ever_! He even has an _eye-patch_!"

"That's…great?" Sora replied, mixed with excitement of a new workplace, and new people, but also a slight anxiousness if that workplace and those people would be too much to handle for him. Sora just wanted the night to be over with already, as it would release whatever tension would be left of today. Actually, he was feeling kinda burned out already…

"Yeah, so Sora, I'm _actually_ leaving now, so good luck, m'kay? And look out for me! Sora?"

No reply from his end of the phone, after giving into his nervous weariness.

"S-Sora!? Just answer me _now_ if Larxene has got you already? Before he even set foot in the hospital.. man, she's good." Rikku waffled on, contrasting the startlingly serene sleeping Sora, unaware of the day ahead.

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Can you guess who the Janitor will be in this? At first I was thinking of someone else, but I realized how much putting Xigbar as the Janitor would rock, and so I did. :3 Please R&R, I thank you in advance, and oh, from what I have wrote, the 2nd chapter is _much much much_ better than this, so, uh thank gawwwd. :3 Bye nowz!


	2. Of Pirates, Snivelbumps and Flower Girls

Welcome back. ;3 Sorry for the long gap between updating, I was on holiday - FUN STUFFZ. Aaaaanyway, here's Chapter 2, which introduces a lot more characters.. enjoy. ;3

**Chapter 2: Of Pirates, Snivelbumps and Flower Girls.**

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Beep Beep Beep

_Beep Beep Beep!_

…No response.

_Beep Beep Beep!_

…And yep, you've guessed it – nothing again. Not even a snore, or a drowsy flinch or a mumble of complaint towards the alarm clock. Zilch. Nada. However, this isn't because whoever intended to _use_ the clock had ignored it in a _'Meh, screw it, I deserve my beauty sleep' _fashion, oh no. This is because Naminè Clark was already awake, showered, dressed and currently eating breakfast an hour before the futile robotic bleeps of the clock interrupted her pensive thoughts over orange juice and toast.

"Hmm… I wonder if this path is really right for me after all.." She whispered to herself, even though she didn't have too much to worry about at all. Her Biology marks could never be rivaled in high school, and she flew through med school like a bullet from a gun, with some of her classmates jokingly referring to her as 'The Queen Bee of the Lab', but what really was the icing on the metaphorical cake, was that because she was heading into the same career path as her cousin, Kairi Krauke, it led to the 2 coming into contact and forming a bond – so it's a good job that ever since she was a little girl, Naminè's favorite part of ANY cake was the icing. But just what had she got into? Well, the reason she had woken up so early was to make sure she wasn't late for her first day as an intern in Radiant Garden's biggest hospital – Pristine Heart.

"They **really** should have called the hospital Radiant Heart.." she mused to herself, a smile planted on her face rather dreamily, in contrast to how she may have seemed just mere seconds ago. "Ugh, _why_ is that alarm ringing?!" she questioned, walking back into her bedroom.

…"Oh," it dawned on her. "Because **I** set it! Hm, smooth-move, Nam, prepared as ever!" Spoke Naminè, beaming at her own competency, as the pressed the 'Mute' button on her clock. Curious to see how much time she had left, the organized girl diverted her eyes to the clock's screen.

_10:06._

"Eh… not as if I have anything more important to do to linger around here! Better early than late… right?" She said to herself in a bubbly, light-hearted attitude, as she grabbed her bag and set off for the world of work.

* * *

_Beep Beep Beep!_

…No response.

_Beep Beep Beep!_

"Guuh, no, go away! I mean, it's only-" the lazy chocolate-spiked boy paused mid-way through his half asleep rant, and saw something which proved the most effective method of waking the sleep-aholic from his bed that you would ever see.

_10:36._

"Lies!" Spat Sora, completely shocked. "I'm meant to _be_ at the hospital for 11! Quick, to the shower!" Sora cried in a tongue-in-cheek manner, as he darted from his bedroom praying for the clock to be wrong.

* * *

"Well, I'm here!" grinned an innocent excited voice, taking subtle steps towards her destination, staring down the modestly-sized, yet still prominent building with it's aura of grandeur. "Are you ready for me?" teased thin, flaxen hair, flowing with ease through the cool morning breeze, as she glanced down at her watch.

"_10:36_? Huh, I guess that means I've got some time to kill!" The blonde, who was none other than Naminè concluded in a cheery tone, and god she was right, there was absolutely no-one lingering outside the hospital, but not in a way which shot the atmosphere dead, or even secluded, it was just peaceful – just to herself, she thought, as she eagerly skipped towards the entrance to her new world.

_'Hmm. Looks like it's as quiet on the in as it is on the out! I wonder if I could grab some caffeine.. after all, I don't want to fall asleep, get presumed as dead and get thrown into the morgue, right?' _the aspiring doctor ranted in her head light-heartedly, and decided to ask someone the way to the cafeteria.

"Hello?" she cried. But her cry turned into an echo bouncing off still, stoic white walls, almost absorbing communication.

"Note to self: Don't be so damn **early **next time, Nam?"

"Well well, that's hardly the medical spirit now, is it?" boomed an unfamiliar, deep but calm voice from around the corner.

Naminè looked to the right of her, down yet another white hallway startled, but at the same time not exactly scared or threatened, more curious. Soon, her eyes met the male voice's figure, he was much older than she was, tall, with his attire of overall's, pants and shoes completely black, Naminè couldn't decide whether his hair was more gray or black, oh, and of course, the man had a frigging eye-patch.

"Oh, hi there! I'm Naminè Clarke! I'm an intern here just starting today! Oh, lemme guess… you are… an entertainer for the kids ward! A pirate? The patch is the give-away!" Naminè invited in an open, friendly manner.

The man raised one eyebrow up at a smiling Naminè before speaking. _'New meat, huh? God, this could be fun…'_

"Nope. Because the patch is necessary because I lost my eye a long time ago in a tragic accident…" he spoke in about a middling tone between softness and rough aggression.

"Oh…umm.." Naminè stuttered, a tad awkward. "Oooh! I know now, you're the… JANITOR!" She grinned, convinced she had hit the nail on the head.

"Oh good god woman, **no**, I'm a _doctor_!"

"You what?"

"The Chief of Medicine, to be precise." The elder replied in a smooth tone, but commanding more authority than before.

Naminè froze, this was not a good impression indeed on not only an ordinary person, but the Chief of Medicine, the person at the tip top of her medical and financial food chain from now on.

"…Crap." The girl managed to croak out, barely shattering the awkward silence. "I think its better if I, just um… go, yeah." She staggered, quickly power-walking away from the embarrassing scene.

"But first, could you please tell me where the, um, cafeteria may be?" She enquired, giving her an excuse to dart away like there was much point to it.

The-falsely-accused-pirate-and-not-to-mention-Janitor sighed, "Take a left from here and go up the stairs to the rooftop, its up there. We like to be inventive here at Pristine Heart."

Naminè did nothing but flashed the man a quick, grateful smile and waved, and ran off to the left.

Meanwhile, when she was completely out of sight, the man turned around to pick up – a mop hidden in the corner.

'_Pfft, Chief of Medicine my ass!'_ He thought to himself, clearly amused. _'And I was right – that WAS fun.'_ The ambiguous man smirked to himself and continued to do what he did best besides compulsive lying – pretending to mop.

* * *

"Roxas! I still can't believe you managed to get the whole day off sick today from Xemnas, for calling in sick with 'the _snivelbumps_!' For god sake, the man is a _doctor_ – D-O-C-T-O-R, how… I mean, _how?_"

"_Because, Kai, __**I**__ wasn't the one who got caught trying to shove Marluxia into the Janitor's bins!"_

"_**Hey.**_ We _both_ know that you were just as much in the wrong as I was that day!"

"Yeah, I guess that ones true…"

The auburn-haired girl giggled slightly over the other end of her phone. Her alluring violet eyes gazed down from the hospitals peaking rooftop towards Pristine Heart's entrance, her body leaning against part of the outer building.

"Look, so _please_ come in today? Don't leave me and... Dr. Cox on our own with the new interns!" The girl pleaded, but with a slight shudder transfusing into her vocals upon the mention of 'Dr. Cox'.

"_Kairi, I'm sorry, but I'm __**terribly**__ ill here! I think I might die!"_ Roxas replied, dripping with absolute sarcasm, faking a harsh cough, followed up by an unconvincing sneeze, which sounded more like a 'WOO-HOO!' than anything else.

"Roxas Swire, get your ass here _now_ before I use your pretty-boy face as a dartboard for your surgical tools!" Kairi devilishly threatened her friend, darkening her tone trying to hide her teasing smile.

"_Aaaand… I'm gone!" _He responded, caving into her threat, and hung up the phone.

A few minutes after Kairi concluded her sweet-but-deadly phone conversation, a quiet questioning breezed its way into her ears.

"Um… why is there no cafeteria here? …Oh."

Kairi sighed playfully and answered without turning around. "Janitor? Don't worry, you're _definitely_ not the first to fall for that one, I may or may not know that from personal experience!" She answered, and laughed a little, which caused Naminè to giggle subtly in return, either way, laughter was infectious.

"So, introduce yours-" Kairi began, but upon turning around she instantly recognized who was talking to her. "Naminè!"

"Kairi!"

They both exclaimed in sweet, pleasant surprise and quickly hugged upon realization of who their identities where.

"Oh! And just FYI – the cafeteria is on the other side of the hospital." Kairi smiled.

"Ah, thanks! I could have really murdered a cup of coffee, and willingly pleaded guilty for it too!" Naminè replied jokingly, even though caffeine was like her cocaine, and she regretted her choice of orange juice over it this morning.

"Huh… oh, here!" Kairi grinned politely, and handed her cousin a deep red cup with a white lid on.

"Thank you so much!" Naminè responded in glee. "Uh…_Coffeebucks_?" She raised an eyebrow, reading the side of the cup.

"Yeah, you can tell we're all about originality over at Pristine Heart, am I right?" Kairi rolled her eyes in a friendly manner, planting a smile on both girls faces, with the auburn-haired beauty taking a quick glance at her watch.

"_10:50_?! Ah, god, I've gotta go, we start very soon, but listen, before work could you do me a massive favour?"

Naminè didn't even need to think before nodding out of common courtesy and consideration for her cousin, "Sure!"

"Great! Just wait around the entrance for a few minutes, and if you see a guy called Roxas coming, please inform him ever so tenderly that there's a blade somewhere which is just _waiting_ to rest in his forehead!" Kairi replied casually, switching between a sugar-sweet tone to start and finishing her gruesome joking favor with more sinister boldness. "Okay, I gotta run, see you around Nam!" She ended, and ran swiftly back to the ground.

Naminè sighed a content and warm sigh, thanking god that Kairi was so nice and pleasant towards her, otherwise, given how determined she was, Naminè would have spent the entire day looking for a secret rooftop cafeteria, or much more worse in terms of 'Oh. My. _Gawd_, how sad' – attempt to set one up herself. Nevertheless, she pushed these thoughts to one side and followed Kairi back down.

* * *

"_10:55_?! God no, this _isn't_ happening! Breathe Sora, just breathe… and maybe stop talking to yourself too?" Sora panicked, not helping his apparently 'sane' state of mind that he was shouting to himself whilst running, attracting the eyes of strangers.

"Yes, I AM crazy thank you!" He cried, but it was more of a cross between an out-of-breathe wheeze, and a bellow of pride. '_Nice job, buddy, are you sure you're in the right state of mind to be treating people?'_ Sora thought, rolling his eyes in stupidity, but this self-doubt soon flip-reversed into triumph, when the ocean orbs he possessed were drawn to something.

"P-Pristine Heart?! I MADE IT, YES!" He shouted in victory. _Hehe, Sora 1 – World? ZERO! Fuahaha!_ Even more 'sane' thoughts swirling around in the optimistic whirlpool which was Sora Hikari's brain. Everything seemed to had picked up once again, but this seeming chance met with a-

_**C**_ r _a _s _**h**_.

…No, he hadn't got ran over – oh please, instead, a bewildered voice confirmed what had _actually_ happened.

"Uh… don't people usually go into some kind of on-call room for things like this?" Naminè whispered, a little taken back by why there was a boy with hair with chocolate hair spiking up to the sky laying on her…

"Wh-what? Oh, _that… _**NO!** Ah, oh god, crap… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to… agh!" Sora stumbled, now becoming fully aware of the blonde girl below him which he has fallen on just now… it also did not help that he had spilt coffee all over her 'busty area', and was wearing white. Ouch.

"I'm Sora, and I'm an intern?" He grinned a cheek-to-cheek, cheesy, bubbly smile, quickly regaining composure in deeply crucial hopes that the girl did not grab him by his hair and throw him into the street, pining for his blood on the roads. Instead, he was surprised by her forgiving demeanor.

"So, you're an intern too, huh? Relax, I'm Naminè!" She responded with friendly ease, giving him a slight wave. "But, uh… do you think you could lend me your coat, to that exposure to my chest doesn't before some form of prescription to older men?" She joked, trying to break the ice a little, _No, seriously, gimme the jacket_ she thought, after the possibility of her own joke creeped her out majorly.

"S-sure!" Sora replied enthusiastically, but much more calm from his shrieking OCD mess than just a few minutes ago, pulled her up and handed her his jacket.

"Thanks… ah, its 11, don't wanna be late!" Naminè realized, and practically flew back into the building, blazing a ferocious trail into the ground by her speed.

Sora smirked a little, impressed by the organized blonde, and walked up to the revolving doors of Pristine Heart, when a figure nearby began speech.

"Excuse me, young man? Would you mind purchasing a flower from me?" Spoke up a slightly timid vocal tone, which belonged to a girl with brown hair and a pink dress.

"Hmm.. why not?" Sora decided cheerfully, and searched in his pockets for change.

"You know, your outfit looks really good on you!" The flower girl's syrupy tone complimented. "I'd bet it looks ever better _off_ you" She continued in a much more venomous, acidic tone.

Sora clammed up in shock at this point, not matching that type of talk up with the girls innocence. "Um.. what?"

However his bewildered question would be answered soon enough, as the woman's hand revealed her brown hair to be a wig, revealing slick and short blonde hair underneath – much less 'platinum' than Naminè's shade.

"Hehe…'_Aerith the Flower Girl'_…always reels 'em in. The name's Larxene Sullivan, dear, and, well…you can pretty much _guess_ what the 'game' is."

"…_The_ Larxene?" Sora questioned, shocked with his jaw hitting the floor, remembering his conversation the night before with Rikku, now not quite sure what to squirm out of his mouth.

"Damn straight! Now stop gawking at me like I'm a girl from your dreams!" She spat.

"Umm…actually, I was thinking more along the lines of a _nightmare_?" Sora countered back, a little thrown.

"Oh god… that's even better. Now outta my way, you're reducing custom!" She winked a twisted wink at the naïve Sora, who just gulped nervously.

_'Yep, Sora. What've you got yourself into now?' _he sighed in his head, and entered his hell for the next few years.

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Oh, thank god. I liked writing this much more than the former chapter... the Larxene and Janitor scenes especially. ;3 M'kay, if you're reading, **pleeeeeease** review? Whatever your opinion on this so far, I just wanna hear from you all. ;3 Thanks to the few who did favorite the story though, and thanks to the user who reviewed, but just to say?

Fuahahaha. D Everytime you do not review a story that you have an opinion on - a cookie factory gets steamrollered into the ground. ;; (Lets hope that works... .)

Enjoy, readers!


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